I feel a fresh breeze in the air,

  It's calling the part of me that cannot be defined.

  The energy flows down my body and up again,

  flashing and tingling all over this abandoned internal realm.

  These awakened sensations bring good news for my reality, I know!

  And at the gates of my ego palace,

  amidst the limited vastness of an illusive maze,

  the unleashed mind is standing on guard,

  singing the tormented anthem of a polyphonic lost cause,

  clasping the torch of darkness, dousing the light,

  holding my suffering skeleton and flesh hostage.

  What a journey this crazy tiger mind of mine has been taking me on!

  Not a second is lost without its insidious presence,

  cursing every second out of my life.

  And from that delusion I want to wake up!

  want to unite with my emptiness,

  the voidness that is more real than my name,

  and all that stand for, to others and to myself.

  Now I know the value of the silence between the seconds!

  "Trust your experience more than your senses ."he says.

  And later with an innocence of a little Buddha he smiles.

  The smile reminds me to "trust the meaning not the language".

  And as soon as my heart has surrendered to his nature,

  he points to the dharma and says,

  "Trust the path not the person."

  Five days out of life,

  five rocks thrown in this river,

  baptized to emancipate,

  hesitantly surrender to the current,

  embracing the uncertainty and the hardship

  rejoicing every smash,

  and mortified through each fragmentation,

  hoping to arrive to the ocean,

  but only as grains!

  Attempting for serenity,

  l close my eyes fearfully yet excited,

  hoping to have a chance to reclaim a drop of awareness within,

  and experience a flash of heaven as it comes,

  remembering that "light is the function of the lamp, and so is wisdom to meditation".

  I sit here to meet stillness,

  to get lost in my emptiness,

  like a drop to an ocean.

  I sit here to salute reality, to uncover the wisdom,

  to fight the delusion of ego,

  my self-igniting mind,

  my fragile affair have called happiness, and the never ending cavalcade of rebirth.

  The strong current of the river,

  falls down these cliffs of uncertainty,

  and I wonder where I have gone wrong.

  I recall myself in the mirror of my mind,

  and with each breath of Amitaba's magical sacred name,

  in the midst of my struggle for stillness,

  the mirror dissolves in the vastness of infinity.

  Interrogating the illusive self.

  A young master, with the same heavenly smile,

  re-emerges out of this restless current,

  unleashed from all that existential delusion,

  with a smile as big as an ocean,

  as free as the wind,

  as grounded as the earth,

  as passionate as the sun,

  and as pure as water.

  A smile that in whose presence, have no choice than to surrender, and to drop all that is,

  so that I can find all that is not.

  Single minded in dedication and wanting just to be,

  watering the seed planted in my nature,

  now depart again,

  wearing the misunderstood flattery l have been used to.

  Let it be the stabbing of glory that brings out the purity of the unprecedented,pre mortal, understandably unfortunate self,

  the wondering eyes,

  the hungry mouth ，

  the distressed ears,

  the forgotten touch,

  the overreacted action,

  the overwhelmingly lost feeling,

  the egotistical awareness.

  and of course the destructive thought.

  The wonder of that smile rescues me again.

  It sweeps me away from this illusion,

  towards purity,

  to the shores of reality,

  and the precious emptiness that carry within.

  The crazy tiger mind,

  never rests in the playful, illusive, progression of courting and bending,

  never relies on the suddenness of mystery。

  The Buddha within needs awakening!

  I need to listen to the sound of silence.

  Cham Shan Temple /five day retreat May 1, 2017

  清新微风，

  唤醒我心，

  无色无形。

  一种力量流遍我全身，

  触动沉睡的觉性。

  烛照内心世界无明，

  传递着真实佳音。

  然此放逸心,

  狭隘的自我迷宫门，

  吟唱哀歌不敢退隐，

  欲将黑暗遮蔽光明，

  令我此身复沉沦。

  愚昧妄动心，

  无时不狡诈献身，

  挟持我走上怎样的人生旅程，

  吞噬我生命的寸寸光阴!

  我要从虚妄中觉醒，

  回归本有的真实空性；

  我知道,我为己为他持有的一切，

  乃至我的姓名，

  悉皆虚假不真。

  此刻我才明白:

  多么宝贵啊 这瞬间的寂静。

  心中的佛面带慈祥圣洁的微笑，

  他告诉我: “依智不依识”，

  又提醒我: “依义不依语”,

  当我的心回向自性,

  他说法指点: “依法不依人”。

  五天短期出家,

  五粒石子投入长河,

  石子在圣洁的水中受洗礼,

  欢快地一路随水流行,

  不惧前程遥远艰辛,

  勇敢地迎接每一次的撞击、磨损,

  一心归向大海,

  不惜碎身化作微尘。

  我祈求宁静,

  将向外看的双眼合紧,

  希望能找回内心的一点觉性,

  体验极乐世界于一念顷来临；

  灯产生光明,

  智慧源自禅定。

  我禅坐安静,

  感受和体悟空性，

  如一滴水融入大海,

  从中汲取力量和智慧去战胜；

  自我妄念,烦躁不安之心,

  那脆弱的“幸福”梦境，

  以及无尽生死轮回之毒根。

  急湍的水流, 落下莫测的悬崖危坡，

  下面道路条条，

  我不知道是否误入歧途，

  我想从镜中看到自我,

  当默念弥陀圣号,

  数息入静之时 镜中影像渐渐模糊了,消失了，

  我所执着的自我恰似,

  泡影梦幻,虚无缥缈。

  一位年轻法师面带快乐的微笑，

  他的笑容宽广如海,不着如风,

  朴实如地,纯净若水,

  炽热似太阳。

  面对这样的笑貌,

  我除了放下,别无选项,

  放下对“有”的执着,

  才能见证诸法空相。

  一心虔诚,

  惟用圣水将自性种子滋润。

  甩开听惯的奉承,

  再出发,迈步走上新的路程。

  诀别无始劫逆来顺受的苦难，

  愿我六根清澈无污染，

  无有惊诧、悲哀、麻木，

  无有饥渴、紧张和颠倒迷茫,

  用光荣智慧的宝剑,

  斩断狂妄自大,

  和种种邪思、邪见、邪想。

  佛陀慈悲圣洁的微笑,

  佛陀的无上甚深教导，

  救度我出离妄想执着，

  走向真实彼岸的纯净，

  开发自心本具的宝贵空性。

  伏断愚昧妄心,

  永不再造作虚假的阿谀奉承,

  要不指望奇迹会突然发生；

  自性佛要靠我们自己觉醒，

  我渴望听闻寂静的音声

  二0一七年五月一日于多伦多湛山精舍

  参加五天短期出家活动有感